i'll swallow my drink of death
and let it digest
so that manifest,
our love can rest.
...
black
is the color my depressed soul has worn
with dark, opaque jewels
my crown is adorned.
from what they see,
to you is shown more;
internal conflict,
outright war.
our consciences battle
for final control
our hearts take over-
FINALLY, self-control,
but haunting
are the truths i know.
you said i am your first
will be your last,
but i feel i'm not your only.
i'm scared
terrified
i need consoling.
help me
i'm crying
baby please hold me
i'm hurting concerning
what i thought i'd forgiven.
...
tell me it's not true
lets continue living
as lovers
but best friends
above the afore mentioned.
"it's not true, baby"
is what would please
but my eyes won't let me believe.
i see
clearly
that you love her equally
and it's all my fault
the way you share thoughts
with she
desperately
waiting to seek
admiration
and hope
to pull her
from her downward slope.
to anyone else
she's a normality;
they walk around
and step over her casually.
no one knows
her beauty
like you and me,
no one unveils her truths
the way you speak;
how you caress the pen so gently,
smooth strokes of "Notion"
expand the sheets
-much like ours last night-
of paper
with devotion.
silently,
you explain to me
the importance of what you've
written,
why it's poetry-
and totally,
i agree.
gifted, you are
in sharing expressions
to excite internally
to invigorate
to captivate
to motivate
and appreciate
whole-heartedly,
but where does that
leave room for me?
who do i tell
the days you're not there
to warm me like you do
the one whom with you i share?
i was here first.
don't you see?
i need you.
i need you more than she!
i need you here,
here beside me
and only me.
please?
...
in your eyes, i'm the best,
much better
than anyone else.
i'm just what you want
-supporting her and you,
realizing there's no longer
just us two.
so, forever my wretchedness
will remain taboo.
...
i'll swallow my drink of death
and let it digest
so that manifest,
our love can rest.
